Hoot Owl Sam
Were you ever a dreamer?

Sam. Male-identified. Mindfuck. Philosophically lost. In-between. Easy-going. Complicated. Emotional. Unstable. Believing. Struggling. Wishing.
Mental and cuter than a toast.


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February 5th
3:38 PM

I nearly cried. And I barely nearly cry. Because I am like Melisa. No, I am like James. Damn, their words are so strong.

Melisa sits in the back of classroom afraid to speak up
She pulls awkwardly at her extra loose khaki cargo pants
She doesn’t want the boys to notice her
James finds himself in the back of the classroom
His baseball cap casts a shadow on his pimple stained forehead
A wide shirt hangs on his broad shoulders
But no one ever noticed him
Melisa
The teacher asks
& she says nothing because she is not here and Melisa
Has never been here
Because Melisa is just some abstract jumble of syllables that doesn’t fit her position
She’s not what she seems
She doesn’t want to have to explain to her mother for the Two hundred and thirty second time
Why she doesn’t want to wear a dress to prom
Doesn’t paint her face because her whole body is painted on
Melisa Melisa
James doesn’t want to have to explain where he came from
Because with the exception of Melisa has has been deemed an abstract reality by everyone
& all he wishes for is he gets to wear a tuxedo to prom
& Melisa has been tugging at breast steadily growing for three years now
By using duct tape to press them down and mold them more into pecks
She just wishes that people would understand that at birth her genitals didn’t know which way to grow
Mad at God who couldn’t relay a message directly to her hormones that they should produce more testosterone
The only person who understands her is James
& they’ve been playmates since the age of four
Around the time girls notice boys
& boys notice girls
See James’ family wanted daughters
Instead of sons
& Melisa was always like that male beetle that everyone called a Ladybug
Melisa
Melisa
Where is she?
Sometimes she wishes she could rip the skin off her back
& every moment of every day she feels trapped in the flesh of a stranger
Melisa
& she stands to her feet
Wanting to say:
"I’m here. & I’ve been here since I was born
So quit asking me if I’m him or if I’m her
Because when you combine the two pronouns together you get
H I R
Here
& God combined the two genders and put me in this body
Trans-gender
I’m here
So quit talking to me like I’m not here.”
James falls back into Melisa’s skin
& the two comfort each other in the their synchopated heart beats
Waiting for the day when Melisa can finally scrub off this made up genetic make up
When the teacher asks for James
& he can say:
"I’m here."

  1. mmmollywood reblogged this from kurtofskyforlife
  2. timegear reblogged this from cgears
  3. cgears reblogged this from kurtofskyforlife
  4. kurtofskyforlife reblogged this from theoriginalspike and added:
    I am literally crying. This was just so moving.
  5. bendanndbreak reblogged this from bendanndbreak
  6. oliveroxenfree reblogged this from walkingbarefootongrass and added:
    dude chills.
  7. walkingbarefootongrass reblogged this from bendanndbreak
  8. la-misma-luna reblogged this from bendanndbreak
  9. sonofabaggins reblogged this from this-bitter-earth
  10. this-bitter-earth reblogged this from gabeisbagels and added:
    I cried.
  11. andyetmethinks reblogged this from birdinthefamily and added:
    mind blown. chills. watery eyes. wow.
  12. amatiive reblogged this from birdinthefamily and added:
    Wow. I got crazy chills. So powerful.
  13. nepheliads reblogged this from kaylalallama
  14. babyvandme reblogged this from divingforreality
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